- Do the laundry.
- Pack lunches and snack.
- Get the kids to karate.
- Get their homework done.
- Make sure they are clean.
- Make sure your son is wearing underwear.
- Feed the kids.
- Remember to eat healthy– munchkins are not any better than donuts just because they are small.
- Go food shopping.
- Don’t lose a child.
- Don’t lose your mind.
- Pick up after the kids.
- Throw the mismatched socks in to a giant pile of mismatched socks– really, where are their mates?!
- Remember that alcohol is not a form of hydration.
- Don’t f*ck up at work!
- Talk to the PTA.
- Set up teacher meetings.
- Buy your daughter an outfit for chorus.
- Send in snack money.
- Bake cupcakes for the bake sale.
- Struggle to keep your composure after repeating yourself for the 10th time.
- Scream like a lunatic to ensure that the neighbors hear you.
- Cry in the shower while repeatedly saying you’re the worst parent…EVER.
- Pop a Xanax.
- Kiss your kids goodnight.
- Stare blankly at your phone waiting for a text to come through that probably won’t. Let out a Diane Keaton-esque sob.
- Wish that you had snuck in that alcohol earlier.
- Pass out.
If your day even somewhat resembles this- you are NOT alone. Between family health issues, being a working mom, the worry over my son and his schooling (yes, the saga continues) and my ever breaking heart, I have joined the Prescribed Happy Pills Club for {Single} Parents.
I woke up after a restless 3 hours worth of sleep to my heart fluttering, sweating, chest pains, and shortness of breath. I was all but sure that I was about to die, but when I didn’t hear angels singing or feel the earth opening beneath my feet…I was pretty certain that I wasn’t dying. When I went to my doc and told her the symptoms, she said it was one of three possibilities: anxiety, anemia, thyroid…or, well…maybe a fourth…pregnancy. Pump your brakes doc. This baby maker isn’t up to par as of late, so lets not push the preggo talk. After very little convincing, she took my blood to check for all possibilities. Oy. In the meantime she gave me a prescription for a Xanax-like calming pill to help me relax.
WOW! Did I really just reach that point in my life?! Yes, yes I did. Popping pills isn’t my style. I’d much rather go the all natural route with foods and exercise, but apparently looking like a well dressed zombie isn’t all that great a look and I must have appeared to be in need. Later that night I convinced myself to take a rest day from the gym and all exercising- it was going to be a FULL rest day and I can’t train properly if I’m not healthy and rested. To alleviate even more stress I ordered takeout for the kids and even managed to get through homework and bathing routines without screaming my head off. As my kids finished their routines on their own, I lit candles around my room, spritzed my lavender chamomile pillow mist from Bath and Body Works, popped half a pill, and settled down to do some writing and organizing. By the time 9:30 hit, my magic pill had kicked in and I was ready to sleep. And I did just that.
I hate admitting that I have anxiety. I hate admitting that I am having troubles coping with the many ups and downs that are presenting themselves lately. I’m supposed to be the strong one. I’m supposed to be the Super Mom that gets everything done without even breaking a sweat. The truth is, as I’ve said so many times before, I’m still learning how imperfectly perfect I am and how to accept it. I’ve still continued my daily gratitude and meditations, but what I’ve started adding are my own daily devotions that keep me grounded and make me aware of everything in my life…and I realize that I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Doing so has lead me to what I believe will be a great challenge and I’ve decided that after much input from friends over the years, Love.Mud.Run.Lift is going to embark on a new chapter…and go to print. Wait, is that supposed to lessen my anxiety or give me more?! Either way, it feels like the next step and I’m excited.
So if you’re a parent (single or not) and you feel like you are messing up along the way and are stressed out to the point of not sleeping, it’s okay to find something (natural or prescribed) to help you along. It doesn’t make you a terrible person. It won’t make you weak. Acknowledging any faults in ourselves and working to overcome them only makes us better people and parents.
Live in the Nassau County Area? Check out Hot Pilates Secret. Rumor has it there is no place like it for relaxation and healing.
